


Tethered

by EmmaArthur (EchoBleu)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x10 divergence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, I swear it doesn't stick, Immortality, M/M, Magnus doesn't go to Edom, Magnus doesn't lose his magic, Prompt Fill, Serious Injuries, Temporary Character Death, Whump, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:09:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27490990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoBleu/pseuds/EmmaArthur
Summary: “Jace,” Alec murmurs, struggling to breathe, as Magnus lurches toward them. “It wasn’t you.”It’s just like Alec, to use what may be his last words to give his parabatai absolution, to try and prevent more pain and guilt. But Magnus can’t let it happen. He can’t let Alec die.He doesn’t let himself consider that he may already be too late.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 28
Kudos: 273
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories, Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020





	Tethered

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt from an Anon on Tumblr **"I thought you were dead."** My brain went straight to 3x10 and my frustration that Alec's near death wasn't even mentioned in the next episode, and then to 2x20 and the time Jace did die. I swear this was meant to be a short fill, but as usual, it got out of hand.
> 
> Thank you so much to [pinstripedJackalope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinstripedJackalope/pseuds/pinstripedJackalope) for betaing!

Magnus’ stomach drops as he finally catches sight of Alec and Jace. He went as fast as he could, absorbing the power of a dozen warlocks, but it wasn’t fast enough. Jace — or the demon controlling him — is kneeling over a prone Alec, slowly, cruelly driving an arrow into his chest.

“They say the worst pain a Shadowhunter can feel is the loss of his parabatai,” he growls, his voice distinctly not Jace-like. “It's time for Jace to finally feel it.”

“Jace,” Alec murmurs, struggling to breathe, as Magnus lurches toward them. “It wasn’t you.”

It’s just like Alec, to use what may be his last words to give his parabatai absolution, to try and prevent more pain and guilt. But Magnus can’t let it happen. He can’t let Alec die.

He doesn’t let himself consider that  he may already be too late.

T he overwhelming magic inside him reacts to his every thought, his every emotion, and it uncurls before he can even command it, roaring in his chest. Magnus throws his hands in front of him and it rushes out, burning through his body, coming out of his palms in an explosion of blue and yellow light. It heads straight to Jace, and Magnus can only pray that it won’t kill his body as well as drive the demon out.

Jace is thrown back and hits the wall with a force that would have instantly killed a mundane. But he rises to his feet immediately after falling, his whole body shaking as something dark and slimy escapes his mouth. He throws up violently, as if ejecting everything evil inside him is making him physically sick, too.

“Alexander,” Magnus murmurs. Magic is still humming under his fingers, but it’s useless now, after that uncontrolled pulse of pure power. He’s still linked to the other warlocks, he can feel their energy, but his own body is too spent to use it. He stumbles to Alec, his legs giving out from under him.

He crawls the last few feet on his knees, desperate to get to Alec.

“Mom...said you’d...make a dr–dramatic entrance,” Alec chokes out, blood running out of his mouth. His breathing is ragged and painful, and he starts coughing, his whole body wracked with agony. Magnus grips his shoulder and stares at his ashen face, at the arrowhead sticking out of his chest. “Alexander.”

“’t’s okay,” Alec murmurs. He coughs up more blood. Somehow, his hand finds Magnus’, and his weak grip shakes Magnus out of his shock.

“No, no, don’t you dare die on me,” he squeezes Alec’s hand tightly, tears running down his cheeks.

He hovers his other hand over Alec’s chest, but he needs more time, time to replenish his magic, time he  _doesn’t have_ . All he can get out right now is sparks.  He tries to send them to the other warlocks who have joined the fight against Lilith,  to call for help , but he doesn’t think they make it that far.

Jace falls to his knee s on Alec’s other side, one hand clutching his hip where Magnus knows his parabatai rune is. “Ale c ,” he murmurs. “Come on.”

“Don’t...blame yourself,” Alec sputters around a mouthful of blood. He tries to inhale, but he chokes instead. “I...don’t...blame you,” he still manages to tell his parabatai.

“Don’t speak,” Jace murmurs. “Magnus, you gotta do something.”

His face is a mask of pain, while Alec’s is lax, like he doesn’t even have enough energy left to react to the agony. Magnus swallows back his tears. “I can’t. I’m all out.”

“Magnus, he’s gonna—”

“I know,” Magnus chokes on his tears.

Jace cries out as Alec’s body grows lax, his weak hold on Magnus’ hand slipping. Magnus scrambles to look for a pulse, but he can’t find one. “Ale xander —”

“No, no, no,” Jace murmurs, sobbing. “I can’t feel him.”

“Alexander!” Magnus cries out, forcing magic into Alec’s body, but it putters out before it can even leave his hands. Alec doesn’t move, doesn’t react, doesn’t— 

“He’s gone,” Jace murmurs, sagging.

“NO!” Magnus yells.

But raging doesn’t help. It doesn’t change reality. And the reality is that Alec is dead under his fingers.

“No,” he sobs, lying his head on Alec’s chest, against the arrow still sticking out. “No.”

His voice breaks.

“Please. No.”

*

Hands grip his shoulders, lifting him up. “Magnus.” It’s Jace’s voice, and then another. Catarina. “Magnus. Come on.”

“No,” Magnus resists. “Alec—”

“He’s gone, Magnus,” Catarina murmurs.

“The fight is over.” Lorenzo. “Lilith is gone.”

“Clary?” Magnus hears Jace ask.

“Safe. We got her and her vampire out just in time.”

Magnus doesn’t let go of Alec’s body. It should matter, that they made it, they succeeded. That the threat is gone. But he can’t get past Alec’s unmoving form in his arms.

Jace’s warm, muscled body is against him now, hugging him, while Catarina pries his hands off Alec. Magnus lets her, his strength spent. He can’t stop sobbing. It comes out in hiccups, tearless sobs of agony as his heart cries out for Alec to wake up, to move, to open his eyes. But Alec stays still, cold and pale under the streetlight, the red of the arrow fletching in his chest burning Magnus’ eyes.

J ace shakes against him in another rhythm, shivering like his body is giving out now that it’s no longer connected to Alec’s. He doesn’t sob — he doesn’t even cry, eyes dry and unfocused and  _empty_ . Magnus bites his fist hard to stop his uncontrollable sobs, not caring when he tastes blood, and grabs Jace’s hand, wordlessly trying to get a reaction out of him.

“Jace?” he manages to croak out after several tries, words refusing to come out.

Jace turns his eyes to him, but he’s still not there, his reactions sluggish and aimless. “Alec,” he murmurs. Then something else, indistinguishable.

Magnus looks back at Alec’s body, and another hiccup wracks his body. He can’t contain this pain. He’s lost many people in his life, held a few of them as they died, but never—

Never like this. It wasn’t supposed to be so soon. He knew Alec would die eventually, but—

No.

No.

The sobs are violent and painful, making him retch, like his body doesn’t even know how to deal with the emotions coursing through him. His magic, weak as it is, responds with fire and ice, coursing through his veins and erupting around him in ephemeral flames that have Catarina jerk away.

“Magnus! You’ve got to control it!” she shouts.

Magnus can barely hear her. He can’t feel anymore, the agony overriding his senses until there’s nothing left.

Alec is gone.

He half-wants his magic to destroy him, to let him pass along with Alec, but it’s too weak even for that.  He feels like his body is dying from the sheer agony of his heart, but it will hang on, and force him to l i ve another day.

Another day that won’t have Alec in it.

*

Magnus shatters.

He’s only vaguely aware of what happens next. It feels like hours, hours of him and Jace  hanging on to each other  in one last bid to avoid their broken souls scattering altogether, refusing to let go of Alec’s body. Catarina gives up on shaking him after a while and moves away, and Magnus loses track of her, of everything that isn’t Alec and Jace.

Isabelle’s heartbreaking scream is what shakes him out of it. “Alec!” she cries as she crumples over her brother’s body,  Clary at her tail.

She shakes him to no avail, sobbing, until Jace reaches out and puts his hand over hers. “He’s gone,” he murmurs brokenly.

Isabelle collapses in Clary’s arms, as Clary kneels on the floor, in shock. Alec remains still and ashen between them and Magnus, and Magnus realizes he’s still crushing Alec’s limp hand in his. He doesn’t let go.

“Ave atque vale,” Luke breathes, and Isabelle looks up at him, shaking her head in denial. Magnus chokes and buries his head in Alec’s chest again, willing time to stop, stop until he can figure a way out of this. Isabelle grasps his shoulder hard, her grip bruising and anchoring.

Magnus sobs anew, throat and face and heart burning. He can’t hear these words. He’s not ready. He’s not ready to make this real.

“Ave atque vale,” Jace murmurs, and Magnus can’t breathe.

*

“Wait,” Jace says, and everyone freezes.

Magnus doesn’t know how long they spent sitting there. Minutes. Hours. Too long. Not long enough. His legs hurt and his lungs burn and his head is full of cotton.

Alec’s hand is cold in his.

The warlocks are gone, except for Catarina. Isabelle is still kneeling beside them, though Clary has stood up and she’s shivering in Simon’s arms now, Luke hovering close to them.

Magnus doesn’t really know how he’s aware of all that. He can barely keep track of what’s going on within his field of vision, and his eyes haven’t left Alec’s still face, and the insulting blood red of the arrow’s fletching.

Why red? Why does Alec use red arrows? Magnus has never asked. He should have.

He never will, now.

Fuck.

Jace slowly, awkwardly untangles himself from Magnus, pushing him with his elbows. Magnus lets himself be handled like a puppet with its strings cut — that sums up how he feels.  He can barely hold himself up on his own, once Jace’s support is gone.

Jace is pointing at something, gesturing, and things are moving. Magnus wills himself to focus, even though he wants to never have to think again. He wants to lay down beside Alec and let himself drift off to sleep, and maybe never wake up.

He wants to wake up from this nightmare and find Alec alive and well beside him, eyes full of sleep, morning light kissing his face and making his skin golden.

He wants  _Alec._

“Magnus,” Isabelle calls him, and he shakes himself. He follows her finger and looks down, at Jace, at Jace’s parabatai rune — the space on his hip where it should be — and it’s…

It’s there. Black on pale skin, the pattern unmistakable. It’s still there.

It should be gone.

“How?” Magnus croaks out.

“I don’t know,” Jace says. And for the first time in however long this nightmare has been, there’s something beside agony in his voice. “I can’t feel him, but it’s still there.”

“That means he’s not dead,” Clary says, coming closer. “Right?”

Magnus looks back at Alec’s unmoving body. “But then—”

“I don’t know,” Jace murmurs.

“Alec’s rune disappeared,” Isabelle says. “When you died,” she points to Jace. “His rune was gone.”

“But mine isn’t.”

Magnus looks between them, then at Alec again. Jace was dead. Jace was dead, and now he isn’t, because he was resurrected by—

“Catarina!” he calls, struck by a sudden thought.

Catarina is at his side in seconds.

“Cat, I need you to restart his heart,” Magnus says.

Catarina moves uncomfortably. “Magnus, he’s gone.”

“I don’t think he is.”

She looks at him with something like pity in her eyes, and at any other time, that would have angered him. But he’d have to be able to feel something beside numbness for that.

Numbness and the nameless, pulsing hope taking roots at the back of his mind. What if—

“Please,” he begs. “Just do it.”

Catarina looks ready to argue, but she looks at the others, and she sees the same budding hope in their eyes. Jace points to his rune, and Magnus can see the moment she understands, her eyes widening.

She places her hands on Alec’s chest carefully, one on each side of the arrow, and sends out a pulse of magic. Alec’s body responds violently to the shock, his back arching, but he doesn’t otherwise move.

“Again,” Magnus pleads.

Alec’s chest glows white. Again. His body  jerks up. Again. Magnus holds his breath.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Nothing changes.

Catarina lets her hands fall, her magic sizzling out. Magnus wants to scream, to throw something, to destroy, but he just sags and Isabelle lets out a sob. Jace lets out a slow, controlled breath, hand on his still present rune.

“One more,” he murmurs.

Catarina shakes her head. “It won’t do anything.”

“Please.”

Magnus doesn’t let her argue. He places his own hands on Alec’s chest and wills his magic out, what little isn’t burning his body from the inside out.

The shock sends him flailing backward into Jace’s arms, but his eyes never leave Alec’s face.

Please, he begs silently.

Wake up.

“I’ve got a pulse,” Catarina breathes out, fingers pressed to Alec’s neck.

“He’s alive,” Jace says, like he doesn’t really believe it himself. “He’s alive.”

Magnus breathes for what feels like the first time in hours.

*

“He’s alive,” Jace breathes. He keeps repeating that, so much that the sentence loops in Magnus’ head. It’s good. He needs the reminder.

Alec is unmoving and pale in the infirmary bed, the whiteness of the sheets and the harsh neon lights accentuating the ashen quality of his skin. At least the red arrow is gone, though it still haunts Magnus’ nightmares.  Instead, Alec’s chest is bare but for the thick bandages holding him together, a tube still coming out of his lung to drain the blood. The small oxygen cannula under his nose is a welcome change from the respirator that breathed for him for the last two days, though Magnus now finds himself regularly checking with his hand that Alec is still breathing.

His heart keeps skipping beats in fear, every time he forgets for a second that Alec is safe and finally on the mend.

F or all that Alec was alive  once Magnus revived him , getting him stable has been an uphill battle. Catarina poured every bit of magic she had left into repairing the lung pierced by the arrow, while she drained the blood out the mundane way, so Alec would stop drowning in his own blood.  The injuries were too severe for iratzes to  be of much use, even when drawn by Jace.

It’s been almost sixty hours, and Jace hasn’t slept. Magnus dozed off in his chair a few times, his head resting on his and Alec’s linked hands — powering through the magic overuse-induced crash has proved impossible, however much he wanted to stay awake in case Alec—

In case Alec woke up, Magnus tells himself firmly. That’s it. He’ll be okay.

“He’s alive,” he murmurs back.

Jace has been burning through stamina runes one after the other. There’s a shadow in his eyes that matches the one in Magnus’ heart, a hole in the shape of Alec that has filled itself with inescapable dread. He was dead.

Magnus wonders if that’s how Alec felt when Jace died. He remembers sitting with him on the floor of the ops center for nearly an hour, his heart constricting the longer Alec remained there motionless, eyes empty like he couldn’t even see the world around him. He wonders if Alec has been carrying this fear ever since, that Jace might die  _again_ , if that was what Magnus couldn’t put his finger on when they argued about his immortality.

Alec was dead for half-an-hour, and Magnus wonders if they’ll ever heal from that.

*

“I thought you were dead.”

Alec stares up at Jace, unimpressed. It’s not the first time he’s woken up, but it’s the first time he’s off the painkillers that made him too loopy to  hold a conversation.  His hand twitches in Magnus’ as he looks at his parabatai, propped up on pillows, the oxygen cannula slightly crooked under his nose. His other arm is splinted and resting on a pillow, the broken bones only partly healed.

T hings have started to settle into a routine. Magnus has still barely left the infirmary — the advantage of magic is that he doesn’t even need to go home to shower — but he’s let Isabelle put him a cot in a corner of the room to sleep. Jace crashed once Alec woke up the first time and slept for twenty-four hours straight, and now he’s back, as annoying as ever. The others come and go, bringing books and food, as Alec spends more and more time awake.

It’s been five days. Magnus doesn’t need to check that Alec is breathing every other minute anymore.

“I _was_ dead, apparently,” Alec mutters. “Anyone figure out what happened with that?”

Magnus shifts in his seat.  “I think  I may have. I talked about it at length with Catarina and we are of the same opinion.”

Catarina has come by for an hour every day to check on Alec and help along his healing. This kind of delicate work isn’t Magnus’ strong suit despite his superior raw power, and he prefers to let her do it as long as she’s willing. It’s given them the time to have in-depth conversations.

“And?” Jace prompts.

Magnus shakes himself, realizing that he’s zoned out. Focusing on anything has proven difficult. “And this is just another proof that you two don’t do things by halves,” he says. “The last time I really looked at your bond with my magic was when Alec got lost trying to find you, Jace. Back then, it was a simple soul bond, anchored by the runes on your bodies.”

“Do you mean it’s changed somehow?” Alec asks. Magnus studies him, to see if he should put off this conversation until later. Alec’s face is drawn with lines of pain, but he’s more alert than he’s been since that night. He frowns in worry, and Magnus knows that despite his state, he’ll insist on hearing it now.

“When I looked at it again, there was a third component,” Magnus says. “Beside your two souls. A tether, of sorts.”

“What do you mean?” Jace asks.

“I think…” Magnus hesitates. “I think that when Biscuit made the wish and resurrected you, Raziel didn’t just bring you back to life. He tethered your soul to this realm. And because of the soul bond, that extends to Alec.”

“So it...kept me here, even when my body died?” Alec asks.

“Yes. That’s what I think.”

The parabatai exchange a look, one that Magnus can’t completely decipher. “Does that mean we can’t die?” Jace asks as Alec lets his head rest back on his pillow, exhausted.

“Quite possibly,” Magnus says. He doesn’t know yet what to do with the relief he feels knowing that. The Alec-shaped terror in his heart has quietened until it’s barely there.

But there are other consequences to this, and he doesn’t know how Alec will take them.

Alec coughs painfully, his good hand slipping from Magnus’ to clutch at his chest. Magnus immediately slips a hand behind his neck to help him sit up until the fit stops.

“Do you need more painkillers?” Jace asks when Alec leans back, spent.

Alec shakes his head, his eyes closed.

“Alec. I can feel your pain.”

“I’m good,” Alec refuses stubbornly. “Magnus.”

“Yes, darling?” Magnus leans closer.

“That tether… It means we’re immortal, doesn’t it? That’s what you’re not telling us.”

Magnus swallows. “I think it might,” he admits. “Nothing’s certain, but—”

“Immortal,” Jace sighs.

Alec’s hand finds its way back to Magnus and he wonders if ‘I’m sorry’ is an appropriate response. Like immortality is an illness of some kind. Some days, it feels that way.

*

They don’t talk about it again until Alec is released from the infirmary. He’s still weak and in pain, but Isabelle and Maryse have caught him twice now trying to smuggle paperwork to his room to work, and he’s declared that he can’t stand the thought of staring at the same four walls any longer.

Magnus immediately volunteered to take him home and take care of him.

“Can you help me with this?” Alec calls from their bedroom, sounding disgruntled. As Magnus has learned in the past week, Alec hates asking for help. Really really hates it.

Given that he has no other choice, Magnus has been trying to make it as painless as possible. He finishes putting on his robe and walks out of the bathroom.

“What is it?”

Alec is sitting on the bed, stuck halfway through taking off his tee-shirt, with his still splinted arm getting in the way. His sling is lying on the bed beside him along with his pants. Magnus rushes over and simply banishes the tee-shirt, hand slipping underneath Alec’s arm to support it through the pressure change. “There,” he smiles.

“Thanks,” Alec grumbles. “I hate this.”

Magnus kneels in front of him and strokes his cheek. “I don’t,” he says.

Alec raises an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“I hate that you’re in pain,” Magnus elaborates. “But I’m really, really glad you’re alive. And I get to take care of you, which is a nice bonus.”

Alec leans into his touch, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he says.

“Scared doesn’t cover it,” Magnus sighs. “For a while there, I—” he chokes on his words, the memory raw in his mind. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought you were dead and I realized that I’ve never loved like I love you. That I can’t lose you.”

“I feel like that, too,” Alec says.

Magnus  bites his lip.  “The life I’ve lived, Alec… I’ve learned that we can survive anything. The pain, it stays, but… We live on. When we got together, I knew that you were going to die one day, that I was setting myself up for a lot of pain, down the road. I fell in love with you and I decided that it was worth it.  And then you died. And it was...worse than anything I’d imagined.”

Magnus feels a tear run down his cheek. Alec leans forward to rest his forehead against Magnus’, burying his hand in Magnus’ hair. “I don’t know what I feel about being immortal yet,” he says. “But I know that I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”

Magnus lets out something that sounds almost like a whimper. He’s not sure if it’s retrospective fear or relief. “I love you,” he murmurs.

“I love you too,” Alec whispers. “I think...if I had been given the time to decide, the ability to choose...I’d have chosen to become immortal with you. To love you forever.”

“And now?” Magnus asks.

Alec stays silent for a moment, thinking. “I still get to do that,” he says. “It’s not my choice, and it’s going to be a little more...complicated, but I still get to be with you forever. And that’s an incredible gift.”

Magnus lets out a sob and leans forward to meet his mouth, kissing him gently. “Forever,” he murmurs.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make my day! I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm also on [Tumblr](https://emma-arthur.tumblr.com/) if you want to chat.


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